Goals: BP down, Swelling down, pain management, FART

The next 3 days in the hospital my BP went through the spike and begin to lower again.  It seems my nurse was right about day 3 and 4 and how the body has a resurgence after delivery on those days many times.  My legs were still swollen but I did notice the swelling in the rest of my body begin subside.  

Frankly by this time I was SICK of the hospital menu options and wanted REAL food.  I still had my daily incision PUSH which I still could not get used to and yes as I am writing this again I still "feel" it in my mind.  Currently on a blood thinner to protect my body from clots from the surgery, two BP meds, fluids, tylenol 2 and.......finally........ the all blessed STOOL softener.  

Let's just get real here.   I haven't had any kind of "progress" since she was born.  6 days people!  Yes, Yes I could pee.  Seriously though.... I couldn't even make the all natural symphony that God gifted us all with..... nope.... no butt trumpet I tell you!  


My nurse came in daily and asked "Have have you experienced flatulence today?"  My sister will understand why I almost peed my pants giggling in side every time they asked this way.  Of course they are mature medical professionals and here I am a 40 year old CHILD who can't handle a mature conversation about my own farts!  Sadly each time they asked I had to answer no.  Nothing was moving folks! 

I was informed that in order to be released I would be required to pass gas.  I asked "What about poop?  Don't we need to make sure that is still working too?"  They said "No, the only requirement is passing gas because eventually the other will follow."

Made sense... Farting would be like warning that things are moving!  But I couldn't!  So I began to worry that I was permanently damaged and that I was not going to be able to..... you know...... FART!!!!   How would life be without this feature? 







MY CURRENT STATUS!!!

MY DESIRED STATUS!!!!










I felt like every time a nurse would walk in..... and it became more and more frequent...... I was being judged.  They would ask the medical version of the question and I would hear " you fart yet?"   Do you know how humiliating it is to be asked this?    They were always very kind and had all taken such amazing care of me so I naturally wanted to please them........... by farting.   

Nurse enters again...." can you pass gas?"
I got so tired of being asked I said "hold on a sec".. lifted my left cheek and made an effort right then and there to let her know I was trying!!!  NADA:   And the judges panel result was:

3 hours later.... Effort was made..... and....

Then,...about 9 pm that evening I was slowly doing my process of getting up off the bed to go to the bathroom....when suddenly....the sound of FREEDOM exited my body!  And NO ONE was there!!!!!!!!!  NO ONE!!!!!!!!!!   But the judges in my mind reacted thus:

I was OK!!!!!  My insides were working!!!!  Thank the maker!!!!!

2 minutes later a nurse walked in and I immediately blurted out "I FARTED!!!!!"   To which her response was hysterical laughter!!   

I was informed as long as my BP stayed below a certain place that I could be released the next day probably by the end of the day and that I should start on a new goal..... POOP. 

Wonderful.