Staying Pregnant 1 hour at a time.

Staying Pregnant.  Wow.  

For someone who had a healthy full term pregnancy.... did a full three periods of regulation play and went into overtime....staying pregnant isn't necessarily the priority.  But when you're 23 weeks and 3 days, EVERY HOUR and EVERY DAY is vital to improving the odds for your baby even if your own body is taking a hit.  So once I was admitted to the hospital where I would be until I delivered, those words were written on the medical board in my room and constantly said to me.  "Were staying pregnant another day Ms. Major... that is the goal"  What that meant was TOTAL bed rest and only getting up to go the bathroom, daily blood draws to check for signs of distress in my organs, constant BP monitoring, 3 different BP meds three times a day, and the dreaded baby monitoring.  Upon arriving I was already in a bit of a crisis so I was immediately put into L and D and pumped with MAG (magnesium sulfate) which is given intravenously to prevent seizures in the mother and was given a round of steroids to help the babies lungs kick into high gear growth since they were nowhere near ready.  

Basically I learned all about Preeclampsia in a few days.  Having always thought it was simply pregnancy High blood pressure, I learned quickly from the doctors that it is actually an autoimmune disorder and that is symptomatic with severely high BP and many other issues such as organ failure and seizures straight ahead.  It respects NO age...health history.. nothing.  There is NO test to detect it early on and it happens all the way back at implantation. 

So we need to grow the baby FAST, but she can only get the best growth in my womb while my body is attacking the placenta thinking its all something dangerous and foreign and as a result my own body is breaking down.  AWESOME Catch 22. 

Greg parked himself on the couch bed in my room and aside from going to the nurses station to get someone there for me, or going to the bathroom, or hitting the cafeteria.... he NEVER left.  He took my leg compressors ( blood clot protectors) on and off when I had to get up to go to the bathroom.  He tucked me back in to bed each time. He slept when he could on that hard couch. 

He bought my pregnancy pillow... the finest one out there.

He committed medical board mutiny every single day by adding his own flavor and desires for my care.  Yes  Balloons and confetti canons were his prescription.  He was ever the CLOWN. 

 Anything to keep me smiling and positive.  

My BP would go up and slightly down, up and slightly down..... but it just would not go below 155/95.  That seemed to be the new bottom floor of my BP...

In general I became numb with getting poked and prodded.  Between getting the mid line (which is much like a pic line) in the arm and being raised up on my bed to what felt like 9 feet in the air so the technician could perform the procedure in my room, to getting a new IV every day or two because the pressure in my body was so high every time my BP was taken it would start pushing the IV out of my arm, the headaches, the total body pain, and the monitoring... ohhh the baby monitoring.... I was overwhelmed.

It was such a joy hearing her heartbeat so strong and clear.  SUCH A JOY.  For the first hour.   And the rule was as long as in that hour she didn't desat or disappear from the monitor (she was so small she had tons of room to bounce around and "hide" where the monitor couldn't pick her up) we could just monitor her for an hour twice a day.  No big deal right?  I can do that.

WRONG.  It was like Eden KNEW.  I promise you lol.  I even said it.  Like clockwork... about 55 minutes into the required hour of monitoring.... suddenly her HR sound would fade of and go quiet. EVERY TIME.   And every time that happened.... EVERY TIME.....(lol get my point?) it would buy me another 30 minutes on the monitor that had to be desat or hiding free.  Fast forward 3 hours...my back is KILLING me like someone has been driving a dull knife into it because I could not move during monitoring for fear of losing her signal. I am sweating and finally crying and begging for mercy..... they finally took me off the monitor but then later than evening it was time AGAIN.  This time the precious gift of a nurse stayed by my side and HELD the monitor with her own hands in the perfect place.  She told me to sleep and she stayed there literally held it in the right place and if Eden started to hide.. she would chase her with the monitor and got me through that two hours.  I will NEVER forget her.

Crisis over for then because they moved me back to a normal Antepartum room for 36 hours.

Fast forward to day 3.  Greg had barely slept and he needed to get back to work at some point.  I was "stable" and off the MAG and feeling fairly decent compared to the last two days.  I sent him home to sleep in a real bed.  I had to force him.  So around 9 pm on August 16th he reluctantly went home but would only do so if my Mom would spend the night with me.  She had the same stipulation lol.  

We started into the night and Mom would play soft meditating music and worship music.  She rubbed my back.  She helped me get up and down. She sought after pain meds for me when necessary.  She filled the gap of Greg beautifully.  Then.... you guessed it.... the dreaded monitoring AGAIN.

  Yes... this is exactly how pregnant I got.   But back to monitoring.  We had to tie it.... tape it...rig it...hold it....and nothing worked.  Every single time she would disappear or desat.  I finally lost it and in a fit of tears out of sheer exhaustion from trying to hold position for that long.  It is so interesting to me that the name of the game was to relax and keep the old BP down.... and this... drove it right through the roof every time.  Greg had previously made me turn the sound on the monitor off and that actually worked for a while.  But this night I completely forgot to do that so I was hearing was her little heart and her swimming around and stomping... and yes... HIDING.   I bawled.. Snot and tears falling everywhere.  Mom is rubbing my back and it DID feel so good...

But it just just was not bringing my BP down. Yet another injection of lebetalol into my IV and another med I can't think of currently.  There were 3 that I remember.  Not coming down.  Up to 185/100 and finally bottomed out and began convulsions after they gave me phenergan to battle the nausea with all of this.  Instead of that working...I erupted in one of the most violent vomits ever... and it was continuous.  

Mom called Greg.  "You're going to have to come back Greg, it looks like its time."  

More vomiting... and I mean LOUD... yelling and grunting type of involuntary vomiting.  Mom is holding the tray for me.  It took Greg only about 15 minutes to get back.  He walked in to this scene.  My room full of nurses and my doctor.  "Were going to have to deliver you now.  This is it.  We have waited as long as we can.  She is 24 weeks which is viable."

More loud vomiting and then... inevitably.... in any body trying to get rid of toxins... it will find ANY route out.  So bring on the bed pan WOOT!!!!

I won't apologize for sharing this.  I went through it.  Other women go through it and its real.  I am on my bed.... my husband takes the vomit tray and is holding and stroking my hair... while my Mom is holding me on the bed pan and I am literally EXPLODING out of BOTH ends.  Yep.  Full evacuation people!!!!  The least of amount of dignity I could have ever experienced.... yep  that was that moment!

I was aware of how loud I was.  All I could think of was I felt SO bad for the 10 other Moms to be on that floor because they were hearing ALL of it.  I was even told by one of my dear friends who worked on that floor that my doctor... my SAVIOR... as they were chatting in the hallway said  "I am about to have to cut your friend."  Frankly knowing that later I found it hilarious.  Just another day at the office for her!!!  And I'm SO glad it was because she handled everything like a seasoned and precision PRO.

So... begin the ride on my own bed with a vomit tray and bed pan in tow back to L and D.......

2 hours to go......